It’s been a while since I wrote down something about my favorite topic, Love. So, here I am, back again with another post on relationships these days.
If you have read my previous blogs you would have understood how de-meaned the word Love is nowadays.
Let’s take a common scenario here, suppose, you are a teen girl and you see a charming boy, you’ll like him and will try to get closer to him. All that, “Face don’t matter”, thing is a bullshit. So, keep that preaching at bay.
Now, in this case, the girl isn’t even aware of the behavior and instincts of the guy, just because he is smart. she likes him.
The saddening part is, this is the case with majority of people, be it a guy or a girl.
Let’s take this assumption a step further, both of them are in so called, de-meaned, relationship. Which is driven by lust TBH. In the very beginning it is all rainbows and unicorns for them but as time flies by, the distances between them keeps on increasing.
After 6 months or a year, they are no longer in relationship. For the guy, it hardly matters (Yeah, okay. I am not being a feminist here). But for the girl, it hit her like a lightning bolt.
As, it would happen to anyone, her trust starts fading away. She couldn’t even trust her best friend, due to the fear of the pain it would cause when he/she backstabs her. No sane human would ever want to go through the apocalypse all over again.
Now let’s leave this stuff here and move on to my experiences.
I have already described my love life in the form of stories mixed up with a little bit of fiction. And if you have read them, you know very well that I am emotionally fucked up. Really, it costs very much, trying to put a smile onto others faces and letting the harm come onto you. Sometimes, holding on is more painful than letting go.
Now, I am in such a place where I feel the urge of having someone in my life, who could be there for me (really there for me), but I am scared to give someone the power to ruin me all over again.
This is a phase of life where you have realized that a girl is not only for sex, not only to fulfill you carnal desires but for understanding and caring for you.
I am the type of guy who leaves no stone unturned when it comes to loving and caring for someone or anyone. What happened with me is, the girl with whom I was in so much love was a mere placeholder, girlfriend just for the sake of the word. On this blog, there are many protected posts, written specifically for her, some of them at the times past midnight.
Now just imagine, you are doing something specifically for someone in order to make that person feel special, you show her what you have done and expect a special reaction from her. You know what I got in reply? Just a thumbs up and a well done text. WTF!
On the contrary a few of my friends replies were, “How I wish someone would write such things for me”.
Not only once, it was the case every time. I also explained everything to her, in those posts, even things like how it feels when you don’t get the attention you deserve. She never ever made me feel special, not even once I felt that yeah, I am something to this girl.
Every passing day was more of a torture to me.