My Take On Love
All this time long these thoughts had been lingering inside my head until today. I got some spare time hence this post. I am not gonna use any hard to comprehend words, instead I’ll write about what “Love” is and what’s my take on it in the simplest way possible. In the present world scenario you could have heard this word at least 50 times a day? Maybe more. It could be a mother telling it to her child, a couple saying it to one another or even some stranger saying it formally. What I fee
Nick26 Nov 2016 • 9 min read
All this time long these thoughts had been lingering inside my head until today. I got some spare time hence this post.
I am not gonna use any hard to comprehend words, instead I’ll write about what “Love” is and what’s my take on it in the simplest way possible.
In the present world scenario you could have heard this word at least 50 times a day? Maybe more. It could be a mother telling it to her child, a couple saying it to one another or even some stranger saying it formally.
What I feel like is this word is being demeaned every passing day. Not by it’s uncontrolled or excessive usage but the way it is being used & comprehended.
I don’t know of many places yet I do know about where I am from, India.
Also, I don’t know about girls, so, I won’t be writing anything related to them. But, let’s talk about the case of boys.
Let’s take an example of a 13 year old kid who’s in his 7th or 8th standard. Even they claim to be in love.
By saying this I am not implying that they can’t be, but, I am talking about the majority of the scenarios. At this age, according to me, they are quite young as in they can’t even get the L in LOVE.
90% of these cases are not driven by love they’re driven by lust. The kid in our case finds the other girl attractive and gets attracted to her. And now when he is with that girl people say they are couples resulting to common notion among people & the two themselves called, Love.
Now let’s leave this context and move on the the next category. Teenagers (grown ups).
By this age we are almost mature and can understand what is Love and how it affects us.
Now imagine you are an 18 year old guy pursuing your studies in some college. This is the time when we feel the need of having someone in our life with whom we can share whatever we feel like. Be it our happy times or the times when we are feeling low. We have many good friends but yet we yearn for a special someone who would be there for us whenever we need.
Well, this might not be the case with everyone but yes, as far as I am concerned, this is.
Every coin has two faces & as I said earlier that is is not in everyone’s case, we are also in the age of puberty where our body goes through many visible & under the hood changes.
We fantasize different things for the opposite sexes. And this is also one of the reasons we start looking for a special someone.
Now, you might be thinking how can that someone be special only for bodily needs, in real they aren’t but without making them believe that they are, you won’t get what you want.
So, here starts the demeaning of love. Our 18 year old guy first selects a girl who’s sexually attractive, tries to impersonate Romeo and succeeds.
The girl in this case is innocent and as we talked earlier we need someone to be our special someone, she is also looking for a boy. And our Romeo makes her believe that he’s the man for her.
They meet & greet, go out a few times and are termed as couples, officially.
Simple texts get converted to long romantic texts, late night calls, presents and what not. The girl keeps falling more in love with every passing second. They make future plans, how and when they’ll marry, some even decide the number of kids they would have. So romantic it is.
Now it has been almost 4 months. Our romeo tries to make a move closer towards his goal. Yeah, you know what I mean.
He uses terms like, we’ll be together forever. I’ll love you till eternity and blah blah. Our Juliet, all blind in the aura of this romantic relationship falls prey to his evil intentions.
Not only this, all this time long, her pics and chats are shared among our Romeo’s friends circle. Why? You can say male domination. He earns some brownie points for himself by portraying himself superior to his fellow friends.
Upon achieving his goal, our Romeo has no interest in his Juliet and he starts ignoring her. I don’t know what is the matter with boys, upon establishing physical relationships with a girl once or twice they start seeing her as inferior to the other girls. Fine motherfuckas! You should hate your hands after peeing then.
All said and done, our Romeo starts off on his adventure to get himself a new Juliet. This was side A of our story.
Now let’s move on to side B.
Entire world starts crashing down for our Juliet. Romeo’s friends are glancing at her with an evil grin in their eyes. Why not? Our Romeo has elaborated entire episode to his friends to earn some brownie points.
She’s wondering about all the unmet promises, all those “Romantic” moments and cursing herself for even trusting such a jerk. She feels as if the whole world is bursting into flames and the shaky remains of ground on which she is standing are about to go kaboom any second.
Wo kehte hai na, “Hardest goodbyes are the ones never said”.
As a result, she stops trusting herself let alone trusting others. She’s like a black hole. Crashing into herself.
Now gradually she develops a belief that all boys are like her Romeo. They only need a girl for bodily needs. There’s no such thing as a “True Love”
This is the time when we switch to the first scenario where the boy needs a partner to be by his side through all odds (my case).
This is the guy who doesn’t choose a girl on the degree of her hotness, if she’s virgin or not or whether she had a boyfriend in the past. Let’s call him Joe.
For Joe love is not about possession it’s about appreciation. He doesn’t need a girl for his needs but for sharing his secrets, happy moments, moments of pain & sorrow, her to be with him, forever.
Suppose, incidentally Joe falls for Juliet from our previous scenario. Here the things get worse.
Juliet’s dark moments are almost over. She has almost forgotten Romeo. That is when Joe approaches Juliet and tries to take a step closer towards them being together.
He is a little bit shy as this is the first time he is ever approaching a girl for relationship. Anyhow, he musters up some courage and tells her what he feels about her.
This is not the first time Juliet is hearing all of this. She had heard this before, been there. This proposal from Joe made things worse for both of them. Juliet remembers what Romeo promised her and how those promises were left unmet. She thinks that Joe is another Romeo in disguise. Resulting to which, she reacts in a way that she is not so proud of.
As this was first time for Joe, he feels a bit demotivated. But as it happens in true love, you can’t let go of the other person, not that easily.
Joe’s love for Juliet is still the same. He’s so deep in it that he keeps on thinking about her and blushing all of the time. Joe’s friends know this too. Time passes by and now it has been almost 2 months since he fell for her.
In the meantime, he tries to show Juliet how he really feels and cares for her. Juliet is also hearing about him from her friends. She develops a soft spot for him but is too afraid to let him close enough as who knows if he turns out to be the Romeo in disguise.
Joe can be seen taking stand for her whenever there is some discussion about her. His friends have even associated her name with him.
Time passes and Juliet allows Joe to come a little closer. They start talking to each other although there was still that fear lingering somewhere in Juliet’s head.
Joe was well aware of this and tried to make her feel as comfortable as he could. He cracked many jokes as it was quite a long time since she had a hearty laugh. After her encounter with Romeo she had hardly even cracked a joke. Gone was the always-smiling-faced, Juliet.
Those terribly tiny conversations started getting longer. Juliet now had some sort of attachment with Joe. In his jokes, many a times there were hidden messages which portrayed the affection he had for her. She started getting those hidden messages.
They would talk by exchanging the lines of old romantic melodies. Cracking jokes & texting those all beautiful emoticons.
Former Juliet was now discovering herself, from an all new perspective. Back was her smile, her jokes.
They developed such an affection where words were such a mere thing. They talked by looking at each other’s eyes. The conversation was eternal, was with their insights.
Even the slightest change in the voice of the Juliet couldn’t go unnoticed and vice versa.
Gone was the ever haunting ghost of Romeo from Juliet’s mind. She finally found someone whom she could confide in. She had a shoulder to cry upon, a man to console her, to understand her without the need of explaining anything.
This was LOVE. Juliet finally understood that she made no mistake in allowing Joe to come close to her. Had she kept distance from him, she would still be the same Juliet, cheated & heartbroken by some jerk (Romeo).
Now, is it compulsory to write that they lived happily ever after? I won’t write it because it would sound like a fairy tale then. ??
So, enough of these stories, now what do I (Nick) have to say about love :-
Please don’t ever say I love you if you don’t mean it at heart. It is not “Sorry”.
The most important thing in life is to give yourself a second chance. After all, you can’t judge all the people in a category just because of one jerk. You are the one that can save yourself.
You may have heard people asking that, is love driven by heart or mind? Many say that it is our heart as we feel from heart, others say that it is our mind because we should see that are we compatible, will we be comfortable with each others in our lives, will it work in the long run. What I have to say is, Love is driven by neither of them, it is driven by instinct. It just happens. It might be that first glance at her/him or some special moment.
Don’t ever feel guilty if you have ever had relations with someone in the past (physical included). One never falls in love by one’s virginity. If someone claims to, trust me, it’s not love. It is the worst form of love, LUST, no, it’s not even close to LOVE.
Don’t fall for looks and deep pockets. Because these may keep you happy for a small time but in the long run, when in the middle of the night, your baby is crying in the cradle and you’re too tired of the chores it won’t be his deep pockets or his good looks but it would be his affection for you that’ll come to your aid.
Please don’t go by this notion that Boys need girls to fuck them whenever they like and girls need guys with good looks & deep pockets. In the present day scenario, it is there in majority but, there are people who still love by heart. So, don’t ignore them. Because one fine day, when you look back you’ll realize that you lost the Moon while counting the Stars.
Don’t ever hate the other person even if he/she hurts you. Hate will do no good but will only kill you slowly from the inside. Assume that your work is only to spread love, not hate. Kill them with kindness, not hate.
If you are in a relationship please don’t ruin it by ignoring each other or by ignoring small things. Say I love you, kiss her, make her feel special in all ways you could. Often, these small things make a huge difference.
Trust me, whenever this beautiful feeling called Love, happens to you in real, you’ll be on the top of the world. Don’t stop until you find that perfect one for you and always, give yourself another chance. Don’t be like, OMG! I’m done. I’m perished.
It may happen that you don’t get the love you yearn from your other partner, try to make him/her understand. Give it your best shot. If it doesn’t work. Move on. After all, you can’t be destined to live with such a person for your entire life.
If you feel something for someone confess it to him/her before he/she drifts away from you. Beacuse if you don’t you’ll never be able to stop repenting on your choice of not letting the other person know about your feelings.
P.S: The stories are a work of my imagination and are somewhat related to events in my life. The character Joe is me (Nick) still waiting for his Juliet. I didn’t write it all at once so, maybe at some places I went out of context, Sorry for that, comment it below and I’ll rectify. I didn’t read it all after completing the writing part so, there may be typos & grammatical errors, tell me & I’ll rectify. Wish I had someone whom I could love this much & tell her what it is like to be in love.
Ritu Di, some of the points came to me through you. You inspire me to write. Love u loads, always & forever. ?
Juliet in Romeo’s impersonation in my life. You have to be heartbroken once to know what Love & Pain is.
Thanks for reading. Sorry if you didn’t like it. Tell me in the comments below & i’ll improve.