I was questioned this since the day we were not together anymore. By my friends, relatives, parents, my siblings and due to this, sometimes by my heart as well.
But, I still can’t figure out the answer to it. I keep on retreating in my mind that the answer is simply a “No”. “Yes, it has been quite a while now, how can you still miss her?”, echoes my self-respect. But you know what? You are still a frequent visitor in my mind. You are like that guest who pays a visit without any prior notice and sometimes do stay a bit long. But seriously, I’m used to it. Your behavior of leaving and staying as you wish.
I won’t hide it nor say it with pride but I still talk to you, sometimes on a moonless night when past keeps on hammering and is hungry for my sleep. Please don’t feel happy and consider me as your mad lover. Don’t you even dare. Yes, it does occupy my mind but my tormented, cheated, stone cold heart is UNAFFECTED.
You know, on my wall of heart you are like that nail which I had thrown long back, the one which was rusted and couldn’t hold the portrait of our love. But yes, the mark of that nail is still there, that hole is still there. It is inevitable I guess.
Also, I haven’t made any efforts to fill it up with colors of new joys and emotions.
Maybe, I want is as it is.
Maybe, I want you to remind me of my madness.
Maybe, I want you to remind what an idiot I was.
Maybe, I want you as a memory.
Maybe, I want you in my stories.
But, just to confirm,
I DON’T WANT YOU IN THIS LIFE EVER AGAIN.
P.S: Yep, this is my real story. Cover image credits to Kris