I am so frustrated right now. Well not that much. I am happy. Very happy.
Today’s morning was the best morning I ever had. Because when I woke up. I was greeted by a good morning message from my girl. That brought up a broad smile on my face. Thanks Ishu. I love you ?
I got up from my bed feeling so cheerful. Texted her back. She was offline. My heart sank.
Didi from the next room asked have you fed Tiger yet? I said, “Raj must have fed him today.”
Only to find out the he hadn’t fed him. So I had to make food for him and feed him. I was still sitting on my bed and was gathering up courage to leave the bed and go cook. I hear a very familiar ping. There it was. Text from the love of my life. It said, “Hi baby”. Once again I was so happy.
She seemed very cheerful today. I don’t know why? Maybe I felt that way. I asked her if she has had her breakfast. As I was expecting. She said, “No. What about you?”. I had just left the bed so how could I have breakfast so soon. But for her, I felt like rushing to her place. Hug her. Cook food for her. Make her sit in my lap. Kiss her and then feed her just like we feed a newborn baby. But instead of saying all these things I simply said. Wait till we marry. Then I’ll always feed you with my hands. Bad move. Yeah, I know ?
2:18 AM – June 4th
Hey diary sorry I bailed up on you. I was busy in assisting my friend regarding his website then I couldn’t stop missing out the episodes of the Vampire Diaries.
So let’s continue where we left off.
Then I ask her if she read my blog post of 2nd June. To which she said yes. Now I had a mixed feeling. A good one and a bad one. Good one as she remembered that I asked her to read my diary. And the bad one that she had to go through all those not so famous acts of Raj.
Then she sends me some smileys which have a all crying face like this —>> ?????
Trust me dear Diary, whenever she says that I am like. Oh what has happened to you baby. Come to me. I’ll hug you and make you feel alright. But I simply ask her. What’s wrong. Why are you crying.
She says that she is so sorry that she always hurt me. She is really sorry. She has said this thing a many time but this time I felt that she meant it. I had a sudden urge to go and kiss her. She further said that she won’t every do anything from now on that would make me feel low.
I though no man I shouldn’t have let her read my diary. Not because it was personal to me but because she was hurt after reading that. I felt this. I was feeling so sorry. “Nick, why does it seems to you that I have changed recently?”, she asked. I was like Oh god! why did I even say her that she seems a bit changed. Baby you are so perfect. I love you. And I trust you that if you’ll ever change. You’ll change for better.
While I was having this so loving chat with her I was in the kitchen. Gearing up to make food for the dog.
Generally I hate going to the neighborhood shop to get butter milk ever morning. But this time she was with me, not physically though. I felt so perfect. While chatting with her I went to the shop. Bought the butter milk, came back home. Even that scorching sun didn’t annoy me today because I was so damn happy.
While still on the phone I went back to the kitchen. The dough-ed flour was soft by now as I had kept it out of the fridge.
Now it was time to start cooking the food. I was still chatting with her. I connected to my bluetooth speakers. Played my music on the shuffled mode. And lighted up the stove.
Generally I used to feel very frustrated whenever I used to cook early in the morning but today I felt different. The reason is quite obvious. She was there with me.
Imagine how happy my life would be like when she would be there by my side. I just want her presence. Nothing else.
I remember a thing. While i was en route to the shop she texted me saying that at times she is afraid of losing me. As a matter of fact I am scared to lose her. Many a times I think that I would loose her too as in my life I have always lost the people who meant the world to me. But if she feels the same, that means she loves me a lot. Same here sweet pea. I can’t even imagine my life without you.
We were having all those nice conversations then I suddenly told her that I was cooking. She said that if she can cook for me. Never ever darling. I won’t ever let you take the pain of cooking. That’s on me ?
Just then I rolled up a perfectly round chapati. Overwhelmed by the joy of that I instantly snapped that and forwarded it to her. She was like, “Did you roll this one?”. I was like, Yeah baby. I did. ?
I felt like if I had climbed some mountain. Then suddenly I remember about Payal asking the contact number of Ishu. As much as i love her I respect her privacy too. So, I asked If she is okay in case I share her contact details with my sister. She said she was perfectly fine. Then I said oh I don’t wanna this conversation to end. Ever. Quite ironically she went offline. FML.
Now as I was almost done with cooking I decided to go and feed tiger. I was very happy and felt very cheerful. Girl you are my drug. Just don’t ever stop loving me.
I did all my basic chores and then came back to bed room and fired the laptop on, opened my blog and started to write. Then I noticed that something was wrong with Tiger as he wasn’t eating his food. He has been sick from a few last days. I called up Raj and told him about the same. He said that he will be coming home anytime soon.
I resumed with my journal writing. Then I got a message from Ankush asking me to assist him with his website.
He is so excited about some fitness website of him. All the best bro. I am always there to help you out. I opened the Teamviewer and connected to his PC and started assisting him. Moments later Raj came home.
Took tiger to some hospital and then returned. We both had food. He was so damn excited about the A rated images that were about to come today from that not so happily married aunty. He said that he will be getting those images by evening. I said, bro just eat right now.
I had to leave my journal in the middle as I got occupied with some other work.
Just after I finished with my lunch Dad called me up on my phone. He was just checking up on me. Don’t know why he was being so worried about me. I said that I was perfectly fine. But only if he listened. Frustrated by this I disconnected the call. I know he cares a lot about me. Calls 10 times a day but whenever he tries to be so over protective I get somewhat frustrated. But, I love him so much. So, I didn’t wanna hurt him in any possible way so I disconnected the call. Cooled myself up. Texted him that I love him so much. To which he asked, “Son are you angry on me?” No. I said. I love you. That stops me from doing any such wrong things.
Evening time :-
I was killing time by watching The Vampire Diaries. Raj came to me and said please cook the dinner I am way too tired. I said bro stop finding such lame excuses. To which he started throwing tantrums and was being all stubborn he could be. That’s my weakness. I can’t ever deny anything who is close to me. And as far as Raj is concerned. Doesn’t matter how much spoiled he is. At the end of the day, he is my brother.
So eventually I was gathering myself up for the round two of cooking. Just then he came rushing to me and said that Aunty is about to send those dirty pictures. Well thanks buddy you came just in time to remind me to cut off your WiFi as you won’t be able to get those pictures then.
Silently and knowingly I disabled the WiFi network and went up to the kitchen and occupied myself with the work. Finishing with that I came back to my room and resumed watching The Vampire Diaries. One thing that I missed again.
In the evening I got a text from Ishu which said that she won’t be able to talk to me for some 2-3 odd days as she is going to her aunt’s (masi) house to attend to some function. She also won’t be able to talk to me in the evening as her dad will be around then. She also said that she couldn’t carry her phone there. In case she does she will text me about the same. I felt so low at that time. How will I live without her for 2 days. What is the problem in carrying a phone out there. She said there will be so many people around and it wouldn’t feel right.
I was not feeling well then so I was also not replying to her texts nicely which she sensed. She asked me if I was angry. First time ever I tried to understand her situation and stood with her. I said baby it’s okay. From the inside I was fearing that one day due to these distances between us she might drift away. But then I thought that she also loves me the same and I felt alright.
I am missing her so much right now too. I don’t know how I will live without her for these 2 days.
Just to note. Payal called me up and asked me about Ishu’s contact details. I shared that with her and said now don’t say bad things about me to her. Bhabhi hai teri. She joked that, Ab to dekho kya kya btati hu mai. Achha kiya aapne yaad dila diya mujhe.
She tried calling her but she didn’t respond. Payal called me back and said, Bhaiyaa bhabhi ko mana q kar diya call attend karne ke liye. Mai konsa aapki burai kar rhi thi. I defended my love saying that she might have been busy or there would be someone around her. Maybe that’s why she didn’t attend to the call.
Now let’s get back to the part where I left. After some time Raj comes into my room and says, Nick you have got your salary today. Let’s dine out today. I was like, “Moron! then why did you made me cook first.” Yet, I agreed.
Good news! My salary has been incremented and it is now 16,807 rupees monthly.
We picked up the bike of the Bhaiyaa who lives next door. He is married but yet we call him Bhaiyaa. Funny ?
Wen’t to the hotel and brought food home as we thought it would be much better if we dine at home. Together.
While we were returning back from the hotel I was riding the bike. At full throttle. Speed somewhat closer to 95 km/h. I love the speed. It thrills me from the inside. Raj was scared like hell and kept telling me that just don’t meet with an accident. Which is what happened exactly. We got back home. Safe and sound. Ate dinner and everyone went to sleep. I had some leftover work to finish so I stayed up. Had also to complete my diary.
As now I am done with today’s journal. It is 4:09 AM and I am gonna go sleep now. I am missing Ishu so much right now. I wish I could watch her sleeping whole night. Keep admiring on how beautiful she is. And feel proud of her and the fact that she is my sleeping beauty, my angel, my love.
Love u loads my sweetie ?
Goodnight Diary, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Ishu.
See you all tomorrow.